Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Not everybody can be an eye-ball!!

 I found this list among my notes on my Facebook page. I wrote it about 6 years ago.  I added it to one of my blogs because it will probably make it a bit easier to know where I am coming from and what I like/dislike. I use to think I was a failure because I am an introvert.  You know, not a people person, not able to talk to just anybody without a reason. In order to recharge, I need quiet time at home. I use to think I was a failure because I moved around so much....ALL. MY. LIFE.  But get ready for this...

God made me an introverted person. 

He knew exactly who my parents were going to be, why I would move so much in my life and what would become of me.  It's totally okay that I need quiet time to recharge. (as opposed to extroverts who recharge by being around other people). There are several times in scripture that Jesus himself sought solitude to be with the LORD and regroup. 

Not everyone can have the same gift...1 Corinthians 12:13a...For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body...12:14...For in fact the body is not one member but many...12:17...If the whole body were an eye, where would be the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where would be the smelling? 12:21...And the eye cannot say to the hand, "I have no need of you"; nor again the head to the feet, "I have no need of you".   

All that to say, we can't all have the same gifts. I have learned my gift is in helping others.  You are probably saying, "isn't that what all Christians do...or should do?" and yes, however, God makes me good at it.  I am great at being in the background, making sure things go smoothly.  God has also put in my heart the desire to feed people. Guess what that means to this introverted soul?  I have an 'in' to talk with people. ANNNNND....I get to take care of them at the same time!!! SCORE! God has also given me the ability to pray...for hours.  People ask me what I can possibly pray about for that long....my reply? EVERYTHING! Not even joking on that one!

There are those that can walk into a room and become everyone's best friend in a matter of seconds.  They are the life of the 'party' and usually are very creative and can express themselves well.  They are good at being in the forefront.  They play musical instruments, paint, design, speak...even make great sales-people.

and it is OKAY that I am not one of those people because God didn't make me to be.  And if He ever wants me to be, I have faith that He can do that johnny-on-the-spot.  So this chick is not worried about it!

SO! Look at who you are, and recognize who God made you to be. Your past experiences are testimonies of God's strength and the beautiful person you are.  

I hope this list encourages you to come up with of your own.  How has God rescued you? How can you tell someone else about it? Speaking? Writing? Singing?

 Here are 25 things you didn't know about me:

 1. I was born in California and lived there until I was 8 years old.

2. I was a Seventh Day Adventist for 30 years but didn't really know Jesus until I was ready for Him to and asked Him to show me the truth in His word. That was just 5 years ago (currently in 2016 it has been 12 years). (WOW) That was one of the most amazing experiences in my life.

3. I worked at a Piggly Wiggly for not quite a year.

4. I love to sing.

5. I have never been out of the United States, unless you count Canada or Tijuana, Mexico .

6. I have 2 brothers I have never met.

7. I can't get to sleep at night unless my feet are warm and cozy.

8. I am naturally a pessimist, the glass is always half empty.

9. Cooking has become a hobby because of my many food allergies and intolerance's.

10. I don't know how I would have made it through this life without music.

11. I am not afraid of snakes or spiders.

12. I was delivered from smoking cigarettes when I was 21 years old.

13. I use to absolutely hate food, and wished that they would just invent a meal-in-a-pill so that I wouldn't have to chew.

14. I love old musicals and old twilight zone films.

15. I love poetry.

16. I love the look, smell and feel of a clean and organized drafting board.

17. I am drawn to fantasy movies, where the unexpected is around the corner, good always conquers evil, and dreams come true.

18. I am not a people person.

19. I was born deaf.

20. I was always the tallest kid in the class until high school. Then I was one of the tallest.

21. I never played sports. Not even basketball.

22. I never run unless there is an emergency. I don't see to many joggers that smile.

23. On my first date with the Hubs, I made sure to wear heals, just to see if he would still be taller than me. (yes)

24. I love the color orange in sunsets and flowers.

25. My 'happy place' is in the middle of my open Bible with reference books, notebooks and of course highlighter pens surrounding me :) Bet you probably could have guessed that one though! :)

Sunday, May 22, 2016

A Clean Slate

God has thrown a white clean robe of righteousness over my shoulders.  He buttoned it up, and it fits perfectly. He bought it specifically for me at a tremendously huge price.

He told me that once I am His, He would transform me…renew my mind, help me to see things in a New Way.  His Way.  

So why do I feel like a "white washed tomb"?  Inside there is not much of a person.  I always say that I am a woman who, when I feel, it is deeply. I read a quote that says "what is closest to your heart is what you talk about…and if God is close to your heart, you will talk about Him." ~A.W. Tozer.  It made me think what exactly IS closest to my heart?  And why can't I seem to regurgitate it?  

My Facebook page is inundated with pictures, mostly meme's and quotes that someone else has said. SOMEONE ELSE.  They are great points and I wouldn't post them unless I agreed with them 100%.  I asked myself, why didn't I say that?  Why couldn't I come up with that?

I can and I did.  But not without taking a break. I took it into prayer.  I was pretty frustrated.  I had all of this information running round and round in my head…and it felt like it was just staying there.  "I have to get this out, Lord."  You know what He said?

"Practice sitting in My Presence."

Everything becomes so much clearer when I concentrate on Him and His Word. I read some of Psalms and noticed HOW it was written.  Beautifully, flowing words like a river, and my heart just ached for that.  So I made myself a promise.  I would not post anything unless it was a genuine thought of mine. God-centered or otherwise.  No pics with meme's or quotes.  I also cut down on the amount of Netflix I watch, and picked up a couple of books instead.

I have a copy of 'Jesus Calling' daily devotional by Sarah Young that I try to read everyday and write in my prayer journal with the scripture passages.  I've been reading through the gospels as many chapters as I can at once because I have found that it gives a much wider perspective and picture of what's happening. 'Screwtape Letters' by C.S. Lewis., and 'Absolute Surrender' by Andrew Murray.

I feel like I've started with a clean slate. Media keeps us connected to others, but it also can hinder the brains genuine creativity.  It can help us to think, but not to actually do… to practice something. There is a person inside…but to much information and no productivity makes for a dull person… The emptiness can be consuming and it hit me all at once.

I broke my promise.  I got onto Facebook and wrote my thoughts about a profound quote I came across. No pictures though…no meme's. Just what it meant to me.  Then during one of my insomnia/insane awake hours in the night, words started in my head and this is what came out:

A big ol' pot 
Of truth and lies 
And lows and highs
Gets bubbling hot
That sticky pot!
And as that spoon swirls round and round
He lifts me up and puts me down
"Be careful daughter
That you don't lose sight,
Of the goal I set before you right"
I climb back up and jump back in,
Even though I am wearing thin.
You see,
without that pot and boiling brew
I'd be left cold, and unattended to.
My brain would fog,
My heart turned stone
No where near His beautiful throne.
And that I simply can't afford,
So thank You for the heat Dear Lord
That makes me grow and bear good fruit
And hopefully makes me quite astute
To send me to the world and love the way You did, and would and have. 

We wrote it together, the Lord and I.  It's the second poem I have written in my entire life.  So maybe this will only happen every 20 years or so.  But it happened.  I feel alive again :) I keep praying for His life and truth to flow through me like a river.  I don't want to be a lake anymore. And because He is alive and inside my heart, I don't have to be :)

Monday, May 2, 2016

The Past 2 Years.

It's been about 2 years since my last blog.  We moved from our home in the woods to a small town (population about 5,000) where the hub's is at a permanent job and is loving every minute of it.  I too love this small town.  I grew up in large cities my whole life and have discovered that although I may not be a country girl (i.e. living in the woods), I am a small town girl at heart. There is definitely country around us...mountains, trees, lakes, fields, farms..you know rural. Which I love, but I also like being 5 minutes away from the grocery store too :) We have bought a home and have sort of set down some roots.  I say sort of because we always end up moving.  Even if its in the same town, we move.  *sigh*  My neighbors are wonderful, although one of them have put up their house for sale. They are looking for a ranch style home, so she doesn't have to climb the stairs all of the time and risk a fall.  

In the past couple of years we moved into a rental home while trying to find a home to buy here and stayed in that house for about 3 months.  That was hellish to say the least.  We had a moving company pack and move us at the expense of the office my husband now works with.  It was the only way we could do it in the amount of time given to us to move.  **IF YOU HAVE A CHOICE, DO NOT GO THROUGH A COMPANY AND HAVE THEM PACK AND MOVE YOU**** worse decision I felt I could make.  It is a horrible mess, that I am still trying to sort through and I am still missing some things. NOT WORTH THE HEADACHE.  

I also received a call about a part time job a couple of months after we moved in here, and was off and running…almost literally.  I signed a year contract, but ended it 6 months into it.  It wasn't a good fit, and the commute into the 'large city' where I used to live was ridiculous.  I have to say though, that through that job, I was able to reach out and volunteer in my new community, and also was reminded or reassured of the desire that the LORD put into my heart a few years ago, I like to and want to feed people. So thankful for that spark put back into my heart.  I have been volunteering at the community church down the street, and serving free lunch at the soup kitchen…also helping prepare it, once a week.  I LOVE it!  The people I have met there have not only become friends of mine, but on Monday's I consider them my church family.  I see/serve mostly the same faces each week, and today I received some sad news that one of them is on the move. :( I'll miss him a lot. Monday's are the highlight of my week, and he is a bonus.  A wealth of love and knowledge for the Lord, an abounding personality that the Lord uses to draw people into him so they can hear the good news of Christ Salvation.

Fire season was incredible last year and we can only see it coming through again.  If it doesn't rain in June, then we will be hit.  Last year fire camps were set up at the college and elementary school down the street, and smoke filled the air.  I remember stepping out onto our front lawn, looking to my left and seeing the small mountain next to us a flame, smoke billowing out from the sides and top.  It was pretty scary.  About a month later I was driving up the highway at night time, looked to my left and pulled over (with the rest of the vehicles astonished by the sight).. The whole mountain was a blaze….

Not a very clear picture from my iPhone, but it was still very scary.  I watched as the fire quickly wrapped itself around the trees, crackling and headed straight down the mountainside to a farm, where we frequently bought our fresh food from.  Luckily it was stopped in time, but these are sights I won't soon forget.

I am not sure where I will be going with this blog.  And I am okay with that.  I am still volunteering, working at home, still paper crafting, gardening, playing darts and cheering on the Spokane Chiefs Ice Hockey in the winter seasons.  We are going to have to do A LOT of rennovating to our little fixer-upper home.  So I feel like the time is good to start speaking to the public again.  :)

Until next time!